Dealing With Death

Everything's Not Okay

 

My younger brother was murdered in cold blood and they tried to make it look like a suicide. He was the sweetest, kindest most fun loving guy I'd ever met.The thought of him dying was the furthest thing from my mind.It's been two years and I still struggle with it everyday. After he died and before the funereal my family got a lot of support from visitors, calls and texts. But after the funereal it was just nothing. People seemed to forget about me and my family. It's not like the funereal was just a show and afterwards he came back and everything was fine. It's not like we got any closure with his body going in the dirt. Do I just feel like this because his murder is still unsolved? I doubt it. Who cares if we find out who did it. If anything it would make me feel worse since I could direct my hurt and anger. But none of that will bring him back. None of that matters. I'm still living life and doing things but this can't be what moving on feels like. I'm just hurting and I'll have to carry this pain my whole life. 

- Meka