Marriage & Relationships

The Break-Ups

 

I had a girlfriend that I was getting ready to marry. It was my first relationship that I even thought about marriage with. I had relationships that varied in their seriousness but this girl was different. She had a 3 year old daughter at the time and that was the first time I dated someone with a child. It made me think about how life as a step father would be since her baby daddy wasn't in the picture at all. I was starting to get excited about it. We got closer and despite our differences I was seriously thinking about marrying her. And then one night she called me and told me to come over. I thought it was for sex but we sat on her bed and she broke up with me. I remember being pissed because she lived 30 minutes away and I wished she had just done it over the phone. But she said she wanted to have the dignity of doing it in person. I asked why and she said I just wasn't the type of guy she could see herself marrying. Talk about blindsided! A few weeks later she called me out the blue and said she still wanted us to be friends. I obliged and we would talk about once or twice a week.After a few weeks she said she missed me and wanted to get back together. I was elated and we reconciled only for her to break up with me AGAIN a few months later. A few months later we reconciled again and this time I thought it was different. I felt like it'd be a great story to tell our grandkids one day of how we broke up and got back together so many times. But a few months later... surprise surprise she dumped me again! I was pissed. Eventually I got over it by realizing it was just a life situation that I went through that helped shaped me. It taught me to look deeper into connections with women and not be so quick to think I'm in love. I never dated the same way after that. I started to understand that each relationship was for me to learn something about myself and the type of woman i would look to marry. Even though it sucked at the time I'm glad I learned to date more seriously.

- Andy

She Betrayed Me

 

How can you live with someone for 5 years and they just surprise you by just completely changing? My wife and I were enjoying life with just the two of us. We didn't have any kids and we didn't feel bad even though people kept asking us when we would have them. We was just telling people we liked being the just two of us and we didn't want to rush having kids. Well it's a good thing to me cause my wife started cheating on me and I had no idea. We were both working and things were good with money and with us. She never said anything was wrong and I didn't think anything was wrong. After she admitted to cheating I asked her how we could work on staying together and she said she didn't want to. That sucks and I'll never be the same. I guess I just need to move on but it's easier said than done. Screw her whatever. I deserve better.

-Nick

He just gave up

 

I had a great marriage with two kids and a successful husband. Everything seemed so perfect for so long. I started hearing rumors about him being involved with other women but I didn't believe them. Then I started to notice his change in behavior. He started being a little less attentive to me and the kids. He stayed out later and was more distant. He seemed to have shorter patience with me and would lash out easily. It took months for me to come to grips with it but I finally confronted him. He denied it of course and I believed him. But he kept getting more and more distant. Next we started having financial issues and we seemed to be running short on money. One day my insurance company called me to tell me my car insurance had lapsed due to no payment. I informed them I had given the money to my husband and he paid it a week prior. They assured me it wasn't paid so I confronted him. He said something came up and he had to use the money I gave him on something else. It wasn't long after that he admitted to me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was devastated He was using our money to spend on his mistresses. He was robbing time with our family to spend with his mistresses. I tried to fight for my marriage to keep going because I loved him and our life. I set up marriage counseling sessions and urged him to come with me but he refused. So I started going by myself. I would cook dinner and leave a plate for him all the time. One day a friend of mine came to my house and saw a plate I had fixed for him. They asked me what it was and I told them. They looked at me like I was stupid. I remember talking to my dad once and after that I realized that I was the only one fighting for the marriage. I tried to stay strong for my kids but I couldn't. That summer I made the tough decision to let my kids go stay with my sister while I tried to salvage my life. I cried over and over and felt so worthless. I turned to God because I knew alcohol, drugs and other men wouldn't fill the void I felt. I studied the Bible everyday multiple times a day. I had friends who were also Christians that encouraged me to cling to God. Even though the one man I loved and depended on deserted me and our kids, I knew there was someone who would never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I was able to think about the fact that I was more dependent on my husband than I was God.I was putting my husband before God and this situation helped me know that was not acceptable. I couldn't put anything in front of God anymore. Matthew 6:33. In the book of Job it tells how Job lost everything he had but still trusted God. If Job could do it I could do it too!

- Evelyn